No Time for Poetry

The short and sweet of it is that I have been cleared by my doctor today! I no longer have to do chemotherapy! Woohoo! I will schedule my appointment with the surgeon tomorrow to have my port removed, and then this is done. I will see my doctor to check my bloodwork every three months, then scan the body again in 1 year. I am so excited and wanted to share the news with you all. Again...WOOHOO!

Friday Night Double Feature

Keith and I had the most fun last Friday night. After my dad went home following chemo, we plotted a Friday night double feature at the movies. We went to the 7:00 of Atonement, very good indeed, then slid right into the 9:15 of The Kite Runner, also very good. We had that high like shoplifters get…or at least that is what I imagine since both of us are pretty straight when it comes to this kind of stuff. It was fun and devious and both movies were fantastic. My only regret is that by not paying for a ticket for The Kite Runner, it will not have as good of showing at the box office and independent films need all the help they can get. So next time, we will make sure that our second feature will be a blockbuster type of movie so that we feel better about sticking it to the man. I don’t care if you are tutting me right now…I have few vices, so count movie lurking right along with speeding on my list, and I never feel guilty about speeding.

Blog That Baby

I often say to myself, and occasionally out loud, that “I am so going to blog that”, but lately I have been reluctant to put myself out there. I know that my CT scan in November practically assures me that last Friday was my last chemo session, but I want to be prepared in case it is not. It does happen. People think they are at the end of treatment, then that last scan (scheduled for this Thursday) shows something that makes them want to do more to be sure it is all gone. Until my doctor says we can schedule my appointment with the surgeon to get this port out of my chest, I am not ready to celebrate. So I have kind of crawled up inside lately enjoying the days that I forget this is even happening—especially during that time over Christmas break when I could sleep off my side effects without thinking of going to work. In fact, I didn’t let myself go into work over break! When I see my doctor on the 24^th, then you will know whether to be jubilant or steadfast in your support…which I have never taken for granted, by the way.

My goal of living more simply in this new year has been interesting to attempt to meet. I have pared down some frivolous expenses, and bargain shopped for our pantry like a maniac. I have stopped reading the ads in the Sunday paper because I think they were just causing me to want more things—things we probably don’t need. Plus, I could pour over them for an hour or so each week. Talk about a waste of time. I still look through the realtor listings to see what compares to our house and the next one we hope to buy. If any of you locals to the QCA have a great realtor, give me his/her number. Our old one retired, so we need to get one that is just as good. You know… shows you only the stuff you really want to see, not the extra crap that might fit our wants and needs. We may end up selling it ourselves, but I want to give a realtor a try first to see what they think market value is and if they can sell it for enough to meet our needs. Otherwise, I guess it will be another year in our cozy home. It has been good to us so far, but we knew when we moved in that we would want to move on after about five years. So here we are five years later.

I Don't Even Begin To Know How To Make Grey Icing

Well our Christmas tree is still a bit Charlie Brown looking because I got tired/bored with putting up ornaments, so it just has the big ones, no bobbles. The thought of wrapping the balls all up after Christmas wore me out, so I stopped while I felt there was just enough on it to call it decorated. The bottom two rows of limbs are practically bare with the exception of lights—I will tell you that it was because we did not know how Ferris would react to the tree while we were at work during the day, but I really just ran out of steam. Oh well…

The cards are done and will go out tomorrow. Nothing fancy—I actually had the forethought to buy cards after last Christmas at a good price in case this year was hectic, even though I am a handy card maker. Well, the storeboughts came in handy, so there you go.

My problem is that I always put too much on my list. My resolution for my new year (which will begin when my digestive tract is regular following my last chemo treatment on Jan. 11^th—think of it like a fiscal year…I can say it starts whenever I want) is to live simply. I resolve to only make three goodies for next Christmas’ treat boxes. I will spend the next year perfecting them. Perhaps the date nut pinwheel will have to go to an every other year rotation. Brilliant! I mean, after all, I’m not Martha bloody Stewart. Although, I think very highly of her, so yak it up you Martha-haters.

Baking was tragic this year, really. I started with the monster cookies, which I made the first two trays way too big, then overcooked em. Keith has loved those—burnt is practically his favorite cookie flavor. The next batch was the right size, but still overcooked. I have been like this child who refuses to learn from her mistakes through all of this. The date-nut pinwheel dough refused to come together—I am blaming the wheat flour at this point. They still taste good though, but the dough doesn’t have that smoothness that makes it the best old-fashioned cookie. The chocolate cutout cookies—a recipe I worked on last Christmas, has finally reached the correct choco-goodiness, but I burnt the first batch into smithereens. I baked another batch, but have been waiting to attempt Martha Stewart style icing, so I bought the tips, got out my bags, put it all together the way I remember Grams doing it in the kitchen, filled it with an icing recipe from Joy of Cooking, and the tip got clogged on the second cookie. I switched to the bigger tip, since I remembered to use couplers, and still not coming out. I think the butter was not smooth enough. What exactly is room temperature anyway?!!! Science people in my life, seriously, I need an answer to this! I stood there patiently tonight, cut my tip out of the bag, threw the bag and goopy icing away and put all of the undecorated trees in a container to give as is. I did dishes and tried to forget this ever happened. Instead, I melted the chocolate for peanut clusters—after all, who could mess those up? Don’t even get me started on the turtles…apparently they are already on the every other year rotation.

Good Times & Good News

Thanksgiving was lovely. We went up for turkey and fixings with my folks and Grams, then went on to Minneapolis the next day. It was a smooth drive, and all the better to find Pam’s smiling face on the other end. We settled into our borrowed apartment, met Pam for a fine French dinner at Cue, the restaurant at the theater, then enjoyed A Christmas Carol. It had a bit more of the Victorian carols than usual, but Keith had a good time regardless…and I always love it. The new Guthrie Theatre is amazing and beautiful, but inside the main stage it feels just like sitting in the old theater. I felt at home. The next day we had the best breakfast on the face of the Earth at Hell’s Kitchen downtown, took the light rail out to the Mall of America (Keith had not experienced it before), visited the Northern Clay Center, then took a trek out to the lake boonies to see Mike and Christie (did I spell that right sweetie?) and their four adorable kids. Oh, and Gary too—he’s unforgettable.

Now for the news on my cat scan. It looks like my lymph nodes are back to normal, which hopefully means free of Cancer. I will have the other four scheduled treatments as planned (ending January 11^th), then we will do another CT scan and PET scan to make sure I am Cancer free before getting this port out of my chest. Woohoo! I tell you though, it was the standard pulling of teeth to get my results. They did not tell me that they would not give the results over the phone until I called to get them. I had to wait for my next appointment, and they could not get me in before my regular appointment today, so here I am. We are very happy for the news. So, another treatment tomorrow, then just three more after that.

The tree is up, lights are on, and there are 3 and a half (blame Keith for the half) strands of popcorn and cranberries on it looking sparse in a Charlie Brown fashion, so I better go put some ornaments on before bed. Love you all.

Drag Queen Dolly

Well, we had a good time anyway. I really must stop doing my makeup in the bedroom without better lighting. I look less like glamorous Dolly Parton and more like a drag queen—especially in that moment Saturday night when I took off the wig and was left with the overdone face and rhinestones. I will admit though that I am loving the red nail polish. I am still wearing it; it’s called Queen of Hearts, and some of you from way back will know my penchants for interesting paint and nail polish names. I think I will keep wearing it through the holidays—it would just seem sad in January.

Keith is encouraged to find that he looks good in salt and pepper hair, so he’s got that going for him, which is nice. Kenny Rogers, eat your heart out…and the bartender at Rookies (says Jen)…and Chris Crutcher (says Mia and most librarians I know).

I saw a pulmonologist today for some odd numbers on my midway lung function test. Basically, we decided to check my lung function on that part of the test again, in case maybe it was just an off day when I tested last. Since I still don’t have any symptoms, it’s probably just a bleep, but he will take a look at my next CT scan to make sure the lungs look clear.

I have a treatment a week from Friday, then that following Monday I will have a CT scan of my whole body. So now, everybody pray that my CT comes back crystal clear. This is the deciding point for how much longer I will undergo chemo treatments. If it comes back clear, then I have 4 more treatments just for good measure, whereas if it comes back with hot spots of cancer, I will likely have 8 more treatments. I hope to know my results before Thanksgiving—at least I intend to twist someone’s arm up until Thanskgiving day.

I have not been home since I started treatment in the summer, so we are looking forward to going up for Thanksgiving. It’s Dad’s favorite holiday, so it will be nice for him as well; Mom is happy to see me anytime, anywhere. I think Dad likes the fact that as far as holidays go, we barely decorate, there is no shopping involved (except for those cooking, of course), there is less hoopla leading up to it, and the food and family aspect is lovely—plus there is nothing to take down afterwards either.

Keith and I are stoked to also be going up to Minneapolis for the weekend; Mom and Dad make great Ferris sitters, and he needs a vacation in the country. Pam is welcoming us in Minneapolis with a night at the Guthrie Theatre to see A Christmas Carol. I have loved this show since I was a kid, and I am so thrilled to share it with Keith, finally. Oh joy Mr. Fezziwig! Plus it is the new theater, which is exciting yet sad since my memories of shows and ushering are from the old Guthrie. So here is my hello ahead of time to you, my dearest Aunt Pam. Oh, Mike and Christie, Keith plans for us to try to see you to, so be looking for his call any day now.

Love to hear from all of you who email after my blogs—I’m sorry I don’t always get to replying. I know, I’m working on it. Love you all.

My Merry Angels

I cannot forget to thank my dearest angels Jenny and Patty for doing the dirty deed of cleaning my house when my world got really hectic. It was something that Keith and I always did together, so it is very hard for him to keep up on it on his own since he has also absorbed most duties we shared including cleaning litter, walking the dog, doing dishes, and gardening. My doctor wants me to stay away from any germ exposure if I can help it, although I do occasionally have to clean up when I walk Ferris. The girls were lifesavers because they did it while I was out of town for my ILA conference, so when I returned all I had to do was a couple of things to be ready for Jason, Mishy, and Addison coming. They even washed their bedding so it was fresh for houseguests. Thanks again sweeties!